The Boardroom

Judging from the light pounding in my head as I slowly came to, I knew there would be a mild hangover in my immediate future.  I lay there quietly with my eyes still shut as the memories of the night before flashed behind my eyelids like an old 50s slideshow.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I began to open my eyes and wipe the sleep from their corners.

The first thing I noticed was that the mattress was on the floor.  I vaguely remembered that seeming like the perfect solution given the situation that evening.  I surveyed the rest of the room...

Large table, lots of chairs, small kitchen...As I continued to look around, a hand found it's way to the small of my back.  I glanced over to my bedside companion.  With only one eye half-open he smiled at me.

"That really happened, didn't it?" I asked.  We both fell into a small fit of giggles. "Where's my phone?"

"It's on the table, Butterfly" he said with that adorable accent.

"Oh God, please tell me I wasn't live tweeting this event."  More giggles.  I slowly rolled onto the floor, then onto my knees, and finally found my way to my feet.  The room looked even more ridiculous from this vantage point.

Having no clue what time it was I turned on my phone.  It was nearly one in the afternoon.  There was a text from my friend CC: "Well, how was your night?"

I typed slowly as a mischievous grin crept over my face: "I just woke up on the floor of the Westin hotel boardroom next to a naked Australian rockstar...and you?"

CC: "We need to write a book."

<Insert "17 hours earlier" caption here>

I got his text around 8pm Saturday evening.  We hadn't seen each other since we met earlier this year at a film festival.  His band had just arrived in town and were staying nearby.

-Wait-

In order to fully tell this story, I need to give the rockstar a proper nickname.  'Rockstar' seems way too obvious, as does any reasonable name I can think of like 'Axel' or 'Brett'.  Let me try describing him: He's definitely over six feet tall, though I don't know exactly by how much.  His hair is dark and slightly long, without being too long.  It's an edgy haircut he sports, as well as multiple tattoos and piercings.  His nails are painted black, and he wears plenty of jewelry.  He stands out in a crowd for all the right reasons, the least of which are those crystal blue eyes.

I've thought about this blog quite a bit these past few days, and one name keeps popping into my brain. Clarence.  I can think of no more poorly suited a name, which is why it seems so utterly perfect.  

-OK, Back to the story-

Clarence texted that he was at dinner with the record label, which was great since I was on my way to enjoy cocktails with a few friends.  We agreed to meet later.  I had just walked into the bar, said hello to everyone, and ordered my first beer when he texted back.  "The guys and I are at the Westin bar, care to join us?"

Ahem.  "Check Please!"

"You are NOT about to leave to go meet some random guy after having JUST gotten here!" Said my friend 'Red'.

"Damn straight I am," I replied.

"So who is this guy?" Asked Jazz.  Pictures always speak louder than words, so I calmly Googled 'Clarence images' on my phone.  Three jaws fell to the floor.

After a moment of silence Red asked, "Can we come?"

"The more the merrier!"

We piled into two cars and set off for the Westin.  When we walked in, I introduced my friends to the band.  

"What do you want to drink?" asked my friend Moose.


Looking back now, I think I was in a mood that night.  Not a good mood, not a bad mood, just...a mood.  Maybe 'rowdy' is the best way to describe it.  "I'll take a beer and a shot of Patron," I answered.  Yup, that kind of mood.

For the next hour we all sat around the table as Red entertained us. (This girl is seriously funny- you haven't lived until you've seen her ask a man 'What do you think of these Triple-Ds?')  Finally Red, Jazz, and Moose left and the rest of the band went upstairs to get some rest.

Which left Clarence, me, and a bunch of drunk Englishmen at the bar. 

In that fantastic Aussie accent Clarence declared, "You and I are going to take another shot of tequila, and then I'm going to kiss you...on the lips."

"I appreciate you being so specific..."  

One thing about rockstars, people will always give them whatever they want...even when they don't ask.  Case in point, the bartender continued to serve us well after they closed, and even gave us a bottle of wine before she left.  In between make-out sessions we actually had a fantastically interesting conversation.

Clarence informed me that he was sharing a room with his sleeping bandmates, and that the room was located right next to a huge boardroom.  "We could go hang out there," he said.  I didn't even hesitate.  Up we went.

I'll spare you the rest of the details, because while I try to share as much as possible on this blog- some things are best left for my memory, and my memory only.

Let's just say that 'Sex with a hot Australian rockstar in a hotel boardroom' can now be taken off my bucket list.  I mean, I'm pretty sure it was never on my bucket list...but it should have been!

Reflecting back days later, I have to say the night surprised me.  Not for the obvious reasons, but because of how unabashedly unashamed I am of the entire thing.  Clarence and I had a good laugh when I told him that just days before his surprise arrival I had written a blog about rockstars.  Oh, how I do love irony.

As I drove home I called CC..."SOOOO?" she asked. "It was crazy, it was fun...I'll never hear from him again," I responded.  So much for expectations!  He texted that night, and again the following morning: "Good morning Butterfly. xx"  

Realistically, do I think I'll ever see Clarence the Rockstar again?  Doubtful.  

But I guess as long as there are boardrooms, ballrooms, and elevators...there is always that chance.