A Quick Hello

In the past week I've sat alone on the patio of a Greek cafe as my Australian waiter conversed with his Hispanic friends in flawless Italian. I've been chased for three blocks through Santa Monica by a man screaming 'die bitch' because I couldn't give him proper directions. I've climbed to the top of a hill and breathed in the Hollywood sign, captured photos of sailboats and sunsets in every city between the Pacific Palisades and Palos Verdes. I've dined on bone marrow and foie gras with a 6'6 bald man 15 years my senior while watching the ships roll into the bay under the light of a full moon. I slept on a chaise outside in 50 degree weather while listening to the sounds of wild owls. I awoke to a shooting star. I've spent more time than my pride will allow me to admit discussing the fashion choices of the modern day hipster.

I've cried while driving through the streets of Burbank because I've realized I am no longer intimidated by life.

I've discussed to the endless depths my past choices and future dreams, including an hour spent talking to my therapist about the various ways the men I've been attracted to somehow relate back to my awful father.

I've grown...and tonight my mind is as full as my spirit.

There are big changes on the horizon, and I expect this blog to begin to change along with me. If I'm completely honest, I spent over an hour last night with my mouse hovering above the words, "delete all". Yes, I almost sent this blog to internet purgatory and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't still an action I was considering.

If I've learned anything, it's that life is complicated. Sometimes we create our own complications, sometimes they are handed to us on broken platters. Our most important job is to continue waking up, getting out of bed, and finding some way to create magic out of the mystery.

I've also been reminded that if our hearts and ears are open, there are very wise people out there that will help keep us on the path toward the best "us". These selfless cheerleaders are the reason to push on, for there is no better way to say 'thank you' than by proving that they were right to support you all along.

As the week moves forward, I plan to share more of my journey from the past 10 days. How I've discovered an unyielding gratitude for LAD and D...and many others. How I've realized I am so much stronger than I ever knew. How I've found myself officially off the market and on the wagon, while not having a boyfriend or a drinking problem. How Independence and Determination have become my new best friends.

And...how to properly dress and act...as a Hipster.

All good things...very good things.