If I Was Ur Bf

Surprisingly, I heard from LAD earlier today.

One short email in response to me catching him boinking another woman over the weekend:

"Alcohol and casual dating always end badly, so relax. Par for the course. If I was ur bf, u weren't in the hotel, I slept with ur sis, that would have been worse. So drop it! It's not as big a deal as ur making it."

I'm appalled. Gut-wrenchingly, vomit-in-my-mouth disgusted.

I mean...REALLY!

WHO uses 'bf' and 'ur' in an email?

And not having any knowledge of the subjunctive tense?

It's just...sick.

Seriously- LAD being kind and gentle enough to point out that at least he didn't sleep with my sister...I was almost willing to forgive and forget! And once I realized that he also didn't piss in my hair before chopping off my hand and throwing me from the 33rd floor while simultaneously schtupping five of my best girlfriends...I was beginning to believe this man was my soulmate!!

But now I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt...with a writing style like that...this was never really meant to be.

*tear*

(Though, if porking a random girl during our date while I'm one room over is considered 'par for the course'...is bumping uglies with my sister considered a Bogey?)

(Also, a quick disclaimer, lest anyone start to think I'm smarter than I am: "subjective tense' was a phrase thrown at me by a good friend and I stole it, after looking up the definition of course! I was born in West Texas...anything over two syllables requires Google and an Advil.)