Earlier this week, I decided to take another one of my 'secret trips' out of town. This time, I headed south to one of my favorite cities...Austin.
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you might remember me mentioning my friend 'D'. D has danced in and out of my life for the better part of 15 years, and I'm quite certain that if I were handed a Benjamin every time this guy broke my heart, I would be pushing something resembling 'rich' any day now.
D is in Austin for the month of December shooting a movie and invited me to come and stay with him during the days that he wasn't filming. My first instinct upon receiving this invitation was to calmly and clearly scream, "FUCK NO, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" But, the cooler side of me kicked in and I instead politely reminded him that after having spent nearly the entire month of October with me- he had failed to contact me once until now...essentially making me his Texas booty call.
And while there are many 'Texas' things I am very proud to be...a booty call ain't one of them.
We talked for a long, long time and he explained that the reason he had backed away so suddenly was because of his own fear. We had "become so close in such a short time" that he panicked (his words here) and his 'self preservation kicked in' causing him to push me out of his mind. You see, D has issues with the tragic loss of his mother when he was younger, as well as the difficult ending to his marriage a decade ago. Now he keeps everyone in his life at arm's length to avoid feeling pain. Or so he claims anyway. (Still smelling that 'booty call' thing are ya? Yup. Me too.) There really is truth in much of this, but we all have issues...you just have to find who's issues yours play most nicely with. And the other thing about issues is that they can suddenly disappear when you truly care for someone deeply enough.
After several calls over several days, D finally convinced me to make the trip down. It really wasn't that hard...a kick ass hotel in a kick ass town, meals on him, and a chance to get caught up on some holiday shopping? I'm in! (OK, that's bullshit. I did no holiday shopping- I did however buy myself a crap ton of clothes and shoes!)
As I wheeled my bag into the lobby of the hotel, there stood D...waiting. He greeted me as though my ship had just arrived from Iraq after a two year tour of duty. For a minute- I believed this guy really had missed me! Then, I remembered it's D...actor extraordinaire.
Night one was awesome- dinner, wine, tons of laughter (this guy can make me laugh like no one else on earth). Chemistry, chemistry, chemistry. Back at the hotel- we had our 'talk' again face to face. Lots of apologies from his end, and a great number of excuses for his behavior. I bought every tenth word or so.
Day two we shopped, then had dinner with some of his friends and their awesome mom, Kat. Day three was supposed to be my day to return home, but I was talked into staying one more night to see a local legend in concert (SO glad I did this!!!).
Ahhh...yes, Day Three. This. THIS...was a good day. We spent the entire day downtown browsing shop after shop. We had an amazing meal, just the two of us, and headed to the venue to meet our friends and their mom.
At some point during the evening, we all ended up in a back alley (holy cow those Austinites can put down the Mary Jane!). Kat, remarkably high on her medical marijuana, decided to lay into D like no mother has laid into her non-child before. It. Was. AWESOME!
Kat: "D- I need to talk to you. I've been watching you with this girl for the past two days- and you guys have serious chemistry. It's the real deal. And I've decided- if you two break up, we are keeping her- not you."
D: (wide-eyed) "We aren't a couple."
Kat: "WHAT?! Are you insane?! Don't be stupid D- this girl is special. You won't find this again. People wait their whole lives to find what the two of you have- this is real. You two are a comedy act...you should take this show on the road! I'm telling you...don't let this slip you by. You will regret it."
Me: (cough, cough, elbow, elbow, mild foot stomp)
D: (eye roll, puff puff)
And then...then...it hit me. I looked D straight in the eyes.
Me: "You know, I am special. And this is something that could be real. But if you are too stupid to get that...then you aren't my guy. Or at least a guy that I would ever want. Bottom line, if you can't see what you are missing by not being with me- then quite frankly...I don't want to be with you."
(Fight Club reference time...)
I am KJ's self confidence returning.
The following day D walked me to my car and kissed me sweetly goodbye. Leaning forward, he whispered confidently in my ear, "I know what you're wondering...will he call?" I delicately whispered back, "Nope. Not really."
Austin...I sure do love that town.
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